


Still Here

by jaegerxackerman



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:38:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7395229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaegerxackerman/pseuds/jaegerxackerman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon Urie was 8 when he met Dallon Weekes he was 10. Ever since the day they met, Brendon has never forgotten about the boy he met all that time ago. Yet he didn't think that time is what kept them apart for so long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Here

Brendon Urie was 8 when he first met his best friend, Dallon Weekes who was 10. He was around the same height as Brendon at the time, brown hair, lean, beautiful blue eyes, and dressed formal for church, although Brendon much enjoyed seeing the older one in casual clothes. 

Dallon was new to school and church, he had just moved to their town. Brendon at such a young age grew very close to Dallon. He admired the older one, seeing him always made him happier. Made his heart beat fast, gave him a thrill and he always knew what to say to always shine a light for Brendon.

They would play after church, after school and on the weekends. Brendon would find any chance he could to be with the older brunette, he found out that Dallon knew how to play the guitar and ukulele. He would play for the younger one when ever the other would want to hear, and he enjoyed it. 

It was very obvious he was passionate about playing his music, Brendon loved seeing how happy Dallon was playing the guitar the most. Brendon was inspired by Dallon to play the guitar, to play for him later on when they're older. 

"Hey, can you teach me how to play if I get a guitar?!" He asked, looking at the older one.

Dallon was dumbfounded at first but smiled. "Haha, of course I will."

Elementary School was very easy for the two, they would see each other at the playground. Always talk and play along with a few other of their classmates, but they really didn't matter to Brendon. They went on grade to grade and it was Dallon's last year of Elementary, when he told Brendon he was going to play his guitar in their talent show.

"Everyone is going to love you! Just like I do!" Brendon exclaimed excited about the news, which caused Dallon to laugh at the other. "-and hey no matter what I'll always be here for you!"

"Thanks, that means a lot Bren." 

Brendon was excited about the news, and couldn't wait, for everyone to hear how good Dallon was. Brendon wanted him to get attention, the kind he deserved he thought. But after the talent show as the school cheered him, when he saw Dallon with some girls from his class he couldn't help but feel something at the pit of his stomach.

Just seeing Dallon smiling and laughing, as he talked to some brunette girl from his class. He looked so happy, they both did, Brendon wanted to congratulate him, he really did. But didn't thinking that, that girl he was talking to was making him happy enough as it seemed.

•○●○•

Dallon had gotten home from the talent show, and went to go tell his parents about it when he saw his dad in the living room. Along with a couple of his aunts and uncles, he stood there feeling the silence wash over him.

"What happened?" He asked trying to break the silence, as he huffed out a laugh. His day had been amazing so far, it could have been better if he had seen Brendon after the talent show. But he would after church on Sunday anyway, so he saw it as no problem.

"Dallon, I'm sorry to say this but there was a car accident...your mom was in.." The brunette after hearing those words, mind went blank. He only listened to a couple of words at a time, with a hospital. A truck being involved and just not enough time. 

But as he looked over to his father, he wasn't even making eye contact with him. Just sitting down hands in his lap, head down not saying anything to him. 

"Dallon?" One of his aunts spoke, as he dropped his things and went up to his room, he laid in bed crying. He cried for hours until he finally ran out of tears and just fell asleep. 

•○●○•

Time went on Dallon moving on new grade, new school. As Brendon didn't have Dallon anymore he talked to others he, met one guy named Patrick. Who also knew someone on Dallon's grade level, they were friends too, but friendship is hard to keep together when apart.

They related, and Brendon would talk about how he couldn't wait to go on to Dallon's school, when he graduated from Elementary too. Although he was met with reality as he went on to Middle School, to see that Dallon was already in High School. His family and him even stopped going to the church all of a sudden, they just left. 

As he sat in lunch he was lost in thought he heard his friend Patrick's voice come to him. "Brendon! Look come over here!" Patrick grabbed the other dragging him into the halls. "You said that, that Dallon guy was your friend right?!" He asked excitedly.

Brendon had an odd feeling, and almost sad type of feeling set over him. At the memory of Dallon, he hadn't talked to him in years. "Yeah, I knew him....why?" He asked, as he was pulled through the school halls.

"Look! He's with the guy I know Pete!" Patrick pointed to a picture on the wall. As Brendon squinted he realized it was Dallon with another guy, he couldn't recognized him at first. But as he focused the resemblance was uncanny. 

His brown hair had grown longer, as he had it combed over. He seemed to get more muscular, as well as taller. He was holding a guitar, along with the other guy standing next to him. On the frame it read 'Best Instrument Players'.

"Hey, when we meet back up with them in High School, when we're freshman and then juniors. We should totally play music with them." Patrick said smiling, as he nudged Brendon's arm. Brendon just stared and smiled laughing.

"Sure man, it would be fun to see them play." He said as he thought of the way Dallon use to play, just imagining him by the others side. Had a spark in his heart, an odd familiar feeling he had felt once before with Dallon.

•○●○•

"So you going to tell me what you were playing?" Breezy asked, as she walked with Dallon through the school halls. School was just ended and they were just walking, because Dallon had to retrieve his guitar from the band hall. 

"I told you, I'm not done. You'll have to wait." He smiled, looking down at her. 

"Oh come on! I love hearing you play, have ever since I first heard you in Elementary." She persisted as they walked out the school doors, to the student parking lot where his truck was.

"Ugh, I can't believe you still remember that time. I was so bad back than, I've gotten a lot better." He cringed at the memory of his younger self playing.

They had gotten into his truck, Breezy in the passangers seat. "Trust me, it was so cute hearing you play, and didn't you use to play the ukulele?" She teased him, trying to imagine a small 9 or 10 year old Dallon playing the ukulele.

"I use to play that for my mom, I bet if I tried now it would sound horrible." He cringed and tried laughing it off, as he drove. 

The girl beside him sighed as she apologized, she remembered the first time she met him. Well the first time she saw him was on the playground, she always had a small crush on him, but he was always with others so she never spoke to him. Until she saw him play, she was amazed by him. So amazed that after the talent show she finally went up to him and started talking. She remembers the bright smile he had, and how he made her heart do flips.

But than when they were finished with Elementary and went on to Middle, something was different about him. He wasn't as happy as he used to be, she tried talking to him but he was always quiet then. She would see him always talk to other people, like the one she knows now as Patrick. 

She would always see him, and she would try making small talk with him. She wanted to find out what happened, that made him so depressed but could never get the chance with the walls he had built for himself. 

It was the day she caught him playing his guitar, he was singing but she was too far that it wasn't very audible. She walked into the music room, him not noticing her, and he didn't realize she was there until she spoke up to him.

She told him about how she loved to hear him play, and he was embarrassed of course and smiled. Him smiling gave her an odd feeling one she didn't understand at that moment. But she carried on talking about his playing, and he admitted that the reason he had stopped was because of his mom's recent passing. 

Even his dad was in a state of depression at the time, and he didn't know how to help. They went on talking and didn't until they realized it was long past the time to leave. They walked home with each other talking, Dallon smiling here and there. Her laughing at a few snarky remarks he made, as her cheeks blushed.

He offered to walk her home but she declined, as it was getting dark. She accepted and as they walked they gave each other their phone numbers. When Dallon had gotten home that night he felt something that he hadn't before, it felt familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"That's alright, anyway tell your dad I said 'hi'." Dallon spoke interrupting Breezy's train of thought. "-ha looks like you were sleeping with your eyes open again." He joked, as he remembered she did once in class.

"Ugh, shut up." She cringed as she lightly punched him, as they laughed. Dallon than kissed her as they came to a stop at her house. "Alright, bye!" She said, getting out to cover her blush. 

"Later."

•○●○•

Time went on Brendon decided that he couldn't wait to learn how to play the guitar, and asked his parents to buy him one. Patrick had gotten one too, and they would practice together. He remembered the way Dallon played and wanted to do it the way he did. He used Dallon as his motivation, to be good enough to play by his side.

When they finally were freshman Brendon saw and realized how different High school was, everyone was so different. It was mainly the sophmores and freshman that freaked out about grades, and juniors and seniors that didn't really care anymore. 

"Hey Brendon, this is my friend Pete." Patrick came along, through the hall exiting the school building. Pete seemed to be taller that Patrick, had blond hair and bright eyes. 

"Hey, so you're Brendon?" 

"Yeah, Patrick's told me a lot about you." He saw Patrick blushed and darted his eyes at Brendon, which surprised him. 

"Haha, nice. Saves me the introduction than, so you guys want to hang out this weekend? Some friends are having a party." He said, and they agreed to it. As Pete went off into agrees other direction Brendon walked with Patrick.

"So you like him?" Brendon asked teasingly, wondering how long Patrick has had this crush. Maybe ever since he met him, would explain why he always talked about him. "Like I wouldn't judge you, his died hair is pretty cool!" 

"Ugh, why?!" Patrick muttered his head down.

Saturday night came and Patrick was blowing up Brendon's phone, telling him to hurry and that they were going to the party. Brendon had gotten dressed in just black skinny jeans, white shirt, and a black jacket over along with his converse on. He didn't really care about the party, but Patrick was really into this and the least he could do was go with his best friend.

Patrick and Brendon had made it to the party, a bit over 9pm and there were already way too many people occupying the relatively large home.

Who ever was throwing the party appearntley knew what they were doing, because when they stepped in they immediately got hit with a strong smell of weed and alcohol. "Holy shit." Brendon muttered.

"Haha, cool! Come on let's find Pete." Patrick urged moving forward, passing the crowd of teens dancing, smoking, drinking and some even making out. Brendon even thought some of it was cringe worthy, but as they made their was past the house hearing the blaring music. He found that the ones playing it, was a band consisting of 2 people playing the guitar, 1 on drums and one of the guitarist singing along with another girl with the guitarist.  
￼  
As Brendon observed the band, he was amused by how tall the guy singing was. He was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans, boots and had brown hair. 

"Dude look!" Brendon exclaimed amused, by how good they were and so was Pete as he stopped in their tracks.

The mans voice was deep as he sung, and as he sand into the mic him and the girl shared. She was average height, long brown hair, she wore a blue jacket, black shirt underneath, blue skinny jeans and brown boots with heels.

Their voices were in harmony with each other as they sang, it was seeming obvious how close the two were as they were being semi sexual on stage. Getting up close and personal with each other, face to face obvious tenting between the two.

"If I spill my guts...." The girl sang, the two separating a bit, giving Brendon a better look at their faces. "The world wouldn't ever look at you the same, way." 

They were both very attractive, and happy on stage together. "And now I'm here to give you all my love."But as Brendon got a closer look at the male on stage, he noticed some very familiar features on him. "So I can watch your face as I take it all away..." in that Brendon was feeling odd, as his heart fell to his stomach. He didn't know why, it was just like time stood still as he watched the two. 

"If heavens grief, brings hells rain." As they connected once again hitting high notes, sexual tension rising between the two once again. "Than I'd trade all my tomorrow's, for just one yesterday."

For some reason everyone around was even cheering for them, especially Patrick as he encouraged the two to go on. "I know I'm bad news." She sang to him, caressing his face Brendon earning another hit his gut where his heart now laid. Why? Why is this happening? Why am I feeling this he thought.

"For just one yesterday..." It was just Dallon...so why was he feeling this. He should be happy. Dallon was, singing and playing instruments is what made him feel good. So why was he feeling like he was a piece of trash, like he was nothing. 

The song seemingly came to an end, and of course like in any romantic movie, or scenario the two kissed in front of the crowd. No shame as the crowd only cheered in response. All of a sudden he felt arms on him, and he saw they were also on Patrick. 

"So how you guys enjoying the party!?" Pete asked waving back and forth, getting close to an intoxicated state. But clearly not as much as many of the others, in the house partying.

"It's awesome!" Patrick complimented, blush on his cheeks. Brendon had a small smile on his face from his friends reaction.

"Yeah, they were awesome." Brendon complimented, a small sad smile on his face. But he felt Pete drag the two somewhere in the house.

"Well come on! Now it's time for you two to have fun." As he guided the two younger ones into a room with a couple of people already in a circle there. "So let me introduce you guys, that girl is Ashley, next to her is Melanie, next to her is Josh, next to him is Tyler and on the side to him is Gerard and than Frank!" He finished, with a sigh of relief taking in a breath, exhausted just from announcing them all.

"I go by Halsey, but yeah I'm Ashley." A girl with obviously died blue hair said. 

"Only very few people actually call you that though." The guy named Tyler pestered, causing Melanie to laugh. Brendon than realized that they were passing around a blunt as their was more in the middle of all of them.

"I'm Patrick, and that's Brendon." The other smiled as he waved.

"Yeah, sorry this looked like a satanic ritual at first." Brendon said as he and the others, took a seat with the others.

"Haha, well nice to meet you guy, so here take a drag." The guy with red hair named Gerard said, as he passed a blunt over to Brendon. He was a bit worried at first because he never actually smoked, but he copied the other and it took a drag and passed it on.

Coughing a lot in the process, as he would keep passing it on having conversations here and there. He kept getting pats on the back from the others as they laughed at him in amusement. "You'll get better at it, we were all like that the first time." Josh encouraged.

"I'm surprised Patrick is so good at it, isn't this your first time." He shot daggers at the other, who smiled sheepishly.

"So you guys enjoyed my dear, buddy old pal Dal sing up there?" Pete asked taking a drag and passing it on.

"That was Dallon!?" Patrick asked in disbelief. "Holy shit! Who was that girl up there with him?!" 

Brendon was also curious, it had been years since he had seen Dallon. He was curious to know what he was like now, it was obvious puberty hit him like a train. His jaw line, voice and height showed that. 

"That was Breezy she's-" Melanie was interrupted by the door slamming open, and two others walking in.

"Did you guys here us!? Everyone loved us!" The tall brunette exclaimed excited, as him and the girl he had his arm wrapped around came along and sat with the others.

They both held a bottle of beer in their hand, as they leaned on each other for support. Brendon starred at Dallon wondering if the other would recognize him. He certainly was expecting to meet Dallon again under these circumstances, in a smoking weed circle of all places.

"Oh, pass me some!" Frank exclaimed, and Dallon handing him the beer bottle. He was already intoxicated. 

"So what are you guys talking, about?" The girl who was leaning on Dallon asked, his arm around her. Brendon was starting daggers at that, he just didn't like seeing that. 

"We were explaining who you guys were to these youngsters here." Frank answered, all eyes going on Brendon and Patrick. It was very well unwanted attention in Brendon's case.

"Yep. We're freshman." Patrick took a drag, seeming very relaxed. Everyone laughed at that, as Patrick was now high.

As everyone aimlessly began talking, conversations going around as time was passing. Brendon would feel Dallon's gaze on him a few times, as he was talking to others. He finally grew tired of the sensation of being watched and turned to face the older male.

Dallon's eyes furrowed, as realization washed over him. It was hard for him to focus in his intoxicated state, but it was clear the gears in his head were moving. "Have we met before?" He finally asked, curious. 

Brendon stiffened. Dallon didn't even remember him. He didn't even try remembering his name. He felt his heart sink, as Dallon sat there dumbfounded. His arm around his girlfriend, just stating at him with those goddamn blue eyes. It made his heart and stomach hurt, as if he was being punched repeatedly as he just kept accepting it.

He didn't see anything in those eyes, not curiosity, not a shine, nothing. He was just staring at Brendon. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much, Dallon used to look at him with excitement, happiness and just a sparkle in his eyes, but no.

"I'm Brendon, we used to go to school together." He attempted to say, in a relaxed manner but he couldn't help sounding a bit sad and rude. 

He just didn't know what to say. He wanted to leave, but no one in that room knew. No one had a clue what he could be feeling, he would turn to Patrick at this time but his friend was in a state that he couldn't help. He was left alone, he felt like crying but knew he couldn't.

"Cool..." He calmly replied. "Hey guys it's time for Breezy and I to leave. Anyone want a ride?" He asked offering, and many declined as they were simply about to pass out, as some laid on the ground. 

"Hey." Brendon felt something touch him, as he turned he saw that Dallon had awkwardly poked him with the tip of his boot. He looked up to see Dallon standing above him, looking down. "Pretty obvious your ride is high as fuck, I'll drive you home." 

It wasn't an offer. "Okay.." 

Dallon was in the front drivers seat, as Breezy took the passangers seat, and Brendon in the back. There wasn't much tension in the truck at all. It was calm and peaceful as Dallon's radio was at a low, but audible level. "Go slow.." His girlfriend had said causiously.

"I know..." He comforted, for him being in his previously drunken state he was driving very well. He was driving slow and perfectly, Brendon was guessing he had experience. 

Brendon laid his head on the window, seeing as how there were no cars on the roads and little bright street lights. He saw that Dallon's girlfriend was leaning her head on the door window just like him, yet she was most likely asleep as she was silent and slowly breathing.

Brendon noticed that time had gone by quick as they came to a hault, and saw Dallon shaking Breezy's shoulder. Trying to wake her up, she mumbled incoherent words. But she saw that she was home and the two said their good-byes. Dallon waited until she was in her house and spoke. 

"You can sit up front if you want." Dallon looked at Brendon through his rear view mirror, the younger one tried not making eye contact but failed. Basically melting under the others eyes, and agreed as he made his way to the seat next to the older one.

"So where do you live?" He asked looking at the younger one, he was chewing gum which was an appearntley smart move, since his breath had previously smelt of alcohol.

"Just drive I'll tell you when to turn." Dallon did just that, driving forward. As they listened to music on Dallon's radio, Brendon couldn't help but sneak glances at the other. 

It hurt. It really did. He had adored Dallon for such a long time, yet the other doesn't even recognize him anymore. He saw as Dallon spit out his gum and throw it out the window, it must have lost it's taste.

"Did we use to go to church together?" The latter broke the silence, as he drove. 

"Yeah, it was the Mormon church." He heard Dallon laugh. Oh god that laugh. It was beautiful, it made Brendon have butterflies in his stomach.

"Oh wow, I don't remember anything from that church." He groaned, rubbing his eye temples. "I completely forgot about it." 

"Take a left at the next stop sign." The smaller one advised. As he smiled a bit from the other, it may not have been completely Dallon's fault. Just time itself from keeping them apart for so long.

"I'm sorry." 

Brendon turned to Dallon, confused to why he was apologizing. Dallon looked hurt and guilty as he drove. He sighed. 

"I'm sorry, I can't really remember you. My mom had died a long time ago, and to get over it I wanted to forget." He admitted, a wave of guilt and compassion running down Brendon. 

His mom passed away. 

"I had gone into a deep depression, my dad too. Just didn't know how to deal with it, I was what? Around 10? My dad had fallen, hard and he turned to drinking and pills to try and get over it. I didn't know how to deal with it, so I was always just sad. I had even gotten into cutting myself. I blamed myself for all of it." 

Brendon didn't want to hear this, he looked out the window. He couldn't imagine Dallon in such a state, he felt like punching himself for not trying to help.

"I can't remember when exactly but after Breezy, I realized I had to move past it. Because my dad needed me more help than I did, so I tried to forget it. Forget everything before my mom died, so I could keep going. So I could help my dad, he was such a mess, god I was almost too late."

Brendon was so fucking sorry, he couldn't look at Dallon. His hands were down in fists, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't find words to say, but Dallon and him both knew he had to explain.

"My dad went into rehab, I lived with my aunt and uncle for a while, and my dad did get better. But he still didn't want to go to church, he lost all faith after my mom died, and I don't blame him because so did I....Brendon I am so fucking sorry..." He knew.

He remembered him, he knew the feeling Brendon had for him. That's why he knew where he was driving, home. Brendon's home. He should have realized it sooner, but he didn't and couldn't.

"I'm sorry." Brendon bit his lip, as he failed to hold back tears. Feeling hot tears stream down his face, he was shaking. 

He felt arms brace him, the head of the brunette on his shoulder. He didn't even notice that Dallon had stopped his car off to the side of the road, and he didn't care. 

He gave in and cried, felt Dallon cry as he shook. Sobbing, was all that could be heard along with 'sorrys' that weren't so audible. He doesn't know how long they were there just hugging each other. 

But when he looked at the time on the radio it was well past midnight.

"Dallon.." He spoke up, needing to get everything off his chest. "I love you. I always have, since the day we first met. I didn't even know I loved you, god. Just last week I didn't even know I loved you. But now I do...." 

He took that as his chance, may be his only chance. So he went in, grabbed Dallon down and pressed his lips againts his own. 

They were soft. He felt Dallon kiss him back, as he opened a bit and took his chance. Dallon grabbed Brendon and pressed him closer, both of them in the heat of the moment kissing. 

It was just them, Dallon touching Brendon. Brendon exploring as much of Dallon's mouth as he could, there was a mix of alcohol and mint. But there was also just Dallon, the older one pulled back first.

Dallon moved his head to Brendon's, he looked at the younger one's brown eyes, that still had tears in them.

"I know, I know you do." He sollomly replied, blue looking at brown. 

"I love you too...." 

He wasn't done.

"...but I also love Breezy.."

There it was.

"Please, I'm so, so fucking sorry."

He felt his heart break.

"I know." 

They were left in silence, Brendon exited the truck. He was just a few houses down from home, Dallon didn't start the truck for a good 5 minutes. Brendon heard the truck start and drive, he didn't want to look back. He heard the truck drive off into the distance.

Brendon couldn't take it, so he ran. He screamed, he cried. He felt his tears running down his face again.

"I was always here."

This is what love feels like? Why does it hurt so much? 

But maybe if Dallon does end up in love with him. Only him.

He sobbed he knew, he couldn't leave or forget him.

"I'm still here."

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate Breezy! I love her so much! I was actually trying to make you guys fall in love with her! Also many cameos from other artists! Also I'm thinking about making a series from this. A sequal? Idk I just really like how this came out;; ^^


End file.
